the cat must be Bruno Mars. yep

looks legit to me. nyeh.

omg sheldon :O

so true

suck a deeekkk???!!

brilliant. nuffsaid

wow.

i want a pie. Apple Pie to be precise

KALM YO TITS NIGGA!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
OHMYGAWD

siruis-ly?

hehe i always had this image in my head though.
but how come that pacemaker shit or whatever in his chest isn't round?
hmmmm questions of life

I want a baby like this :(
SYASYAAAAAAAA !
Make me cute baby :@

I swear i'm not gay, but i really have to say.
This dude is handsome or what?
Look at that jawline O.O

Mr.Hairstylist, Give me the Bieber

God i love his character

Over the past couple of months.
I've made alot of thinking. Mostly self reflection i would say.
And it made me realize a few things about life.
It's hard for people to admit their own mistake, even for me.
It's always easier to push the blame onto others.
It's very easy to get blind-sighted by ego.
I know i wrote in my previous entry, that i wasn't going to point out your mistakes.
But i feel i have to, to help me move on.

Firstly, it was my mistake for posting up that racist update on facebook.
When Mubarak got angry with it, i still wasn't angry.
Because to me, i had the choice of saying what i want.
I don't fancy the idea of being restricted due to taboo.
Heck what other people think of me regarding that post.
It is my own profile.
So when mubarak started to get more and more vulgar commenting on that facebook update, it got me more and more agitated. I was only angry with him.
The argument was only between me and him.
So it came to a point where Azri appeared out of nowhere, when it clearly had nothing to do with him. With a comment saying "he's just not as mature as we thought he was"
I began to fire up only at that point.
And yes, i apologizing for blasting back at everyone there.
I was angry. I was angry because the argument between me and mubarak had nothing to do with any one of you, but you had to be a busybody and come in.
Whatever okay. And the whole thing just ended like that.
I was still angry, so i gave it a day.
Two days later, i texted all of you, even those who didn't have much to do with it.
because seriously i wasn't angry at syafiq at all. He only said "haiz". Or whatever he said.
I was actually angry with mubarak, syazwani and azri. |
But nevermind, i'll just apologize anyway.
it was early in the morning, and i really wanted to get it off my chest.
So i just grabbed my phone and texted everybody.
awhile later mubarak replied saying its okay, he forgives me.
awhile after that, syazwani texts me forgiving me too.
But none of my bestfriends could do that.
You said that you loved me more than a friend. I was even like a brother.
So you couldn't even reply his text message to forgive him?
Of course i got mad. But this time, i wasn't angry at you guys about the incident.
I was angry that you guys couldn't even reply a simple text message to forgive me.

Later in the night i posted on facebook saying something about you guys not wanting to forgive me, and that i'm not a beggar.
and you also said, if i were sincere about the apology, i wouldn't put up that post.
See, i was sincere about the apology. I apologized for blasting at you on facebook.
But i got angry that even my closest friends, those whom i would trust with my life, couldn't even reply to a single text message. Not a single one of you.
And we never spoke again did we?
The longer it was, the more pissed off i got.
In my mind, i was simply thinking " why are they so egoistic as to not forgive me for something like that? Why are they being so selfish".
The quieter is was, the more thoughts raced through my head.
Everyone i talked to even were surprised as to why you all won't reply the text and forgive me. After all, such a small matter.
Things escalated from there. Nobody told me about celebrating zabir's birthday. It lead me thinking that you guys were being utterly selfish.
I don't even know what happened then on. I just know things were stupid.
Forget it. Delete me off your lives all you want if it makes you feel better.
I'm just a file in the recycle bin waiting to be cleared.
As you guys would say "Dah hilang member"
i was losing myself, and you guys didn't pull me back in.
So, it was both our faults.

I believe everything happens for a reason.
I used to think that we would grow up together, till we're old.
And someday we would sit together at a coffeeshop talking all day till our wives get angry.
And Nizar's daughter would be a couple together with my son.
But things change. Maybe all of these happened just to show me that i was changing.
Maybe it happened to let me realize my mistake, and pull myself back together.
Well if thats the case, then it's a very good cause.
Because i realized the worst of what i can be.
And it made me promise to myself, never to fall back there again.

Nothing happens without a reason.
No mistake is unforgiven.
Whats done cannot be undone,
But whats done can be corrected.

It's your call. Delete me, or restore me.
If it were up to me, i'd click restore and reboot.

sometimes doing this is all i want, every single morning of my life